I know that it seems wasteful to spend that kind of money on skincare products for a preteen, but I don’t think it’s a big deal since you can afford it and it’s only for a special occasion (Christmas). This is a common issue for a lot of parents nowadays, and as a dad with 12 and 10-year-old girls, I feel your pain. So I’m very torn about how to handle this-any suggestions? Katie is not a complete follower, she can think independently of her friends, but I also understand what it’s like to be a preteen girl trying to figure out your place in life, which is exacerbated tenfold from when I was that age due to social media/the internet. I want her to be able to think responsibly: Do you really need the $85 face cream when there are less expensive options that are just as good (not to mention, do you really need face cream, beyond sunscreen/basic moisturizer at all when you’re 11?!)? But, while we can afford it, it kills me to spend that money on a completely unnecessary, overpriced product! She does get an allowance for chores, but we also teach her to save and spend wisely-I, particularly, was really bad at saving when I was younger, and up until my early 30s spent way too much money on trendy products/spontaneous purchases, and I don’t want her to fall into that trap. Say what?!?! She’s 11! My husband proposed we get the products for her for Christmas, but make it clear that throughout the year we won’t be indulging in these things. Now, for Christmas, she’s asking for skincare products from a pretty expensive beauty brand, because she sees it on TikTok and a couple of her friends have it. How do I find a happy balance between not wanting to deprive my 11-year-old daughter “Katie” of experiences her other friends live with, but also not wanting to indulge? For instance, a few months ago, my husband and I caved and let Katie watch TikTok, because she was constantly complaining her friends watch it and talk about videos and she feels left out (she has to watch while she’s in the same room as us though, and we set a time limit). Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column.
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